Aaand she’s back!
Let’s catch up, shall we?
The last 10 months have been all about Me; Working with my herbalist to heal my gut and become healthier, diving deep to learn more about who I really am, what I want & don’t want, becoming truly comfortable with and content in myself, accepting and loving the slower pace of life I’ve chosen to live and being “Positively Selfish” (Wish I could remember where I first read about this mindset, oops!).
Back in May last year (My last post was actually written just a week after this happened, but it was too fresh to write about) my relationship (and subsequent engagement) ended. Things hadn’t been good for a while, but the break up came as a horrible shock. I’m not the type to gossip, but I was treated badly and that was more shocking than the break up itself.
Pain, confusion and anger ensued throughout June and July. The things he told me made me feel incredibly bad about myself and for a while, I believed I was to blame for most of the issues, when that simply just wasn’t the case. I’ll admit, there was some truth in certain topics (My illness was “all I talked about” and I was “under-stimulating” – Yeah, that’d be the illness!), but on a whole, WE had issues.
The main one being COMMUNICATION.
Going forward in my love life, that is fucking key!
I would never want him to think that breaking up with me has helped me get to where I am today, he does not get credit for that. But, in a way, the unnecessary things he said and how he allowed everything to unfold (a person I respected, saw as an equal and who was my best friend) did set in motion this “journey” (Barf) that I’ve been on.
I ADORE MYSELF. I’ve honestly never been more content, y’all.
I also didn’t want this post to focus on this event, but it did kick-start my love affair with myself, so I wanted to share. I want this post to be a beacon for others going through an ending, whether it’s a relationship or a friendship, that you most certainly fucking can get through it and come out the other side of it stronger, more resilient and more kick ass than you ever thought possible. People unfortunately (sometimes fortunately) come and go, life will throw steaming piles of shit in your face from time to time, you’ll have days where you don’t want to move and days when you’ll want to murder someone (try not to go through with this one), but try to remember…
Today is temporary.
Take a few deep breaths, scream into a pillow, write it all out and never let go of the fact that you are whole just as you are. Sure you were before you met them!
Update on my lovely gut issues soon.. Same Bat time, same Bat place.